july 22: bruised

well i have been dealing with the end of my marriage in large, unwieldy pieces.

getting better every day, trying not to be bitter. trying hard to finally address the situation. i ran into my other relationship, deperate and totally unhinged to get away from what was really happening. sigh. such behaviour created it's own disaster that i have to carry now, too.

i am writing this because of what happened a moment ago, and has happened to me ever since I learned that my marriage was over, is that heartbreak washed over me like a wave, from my head to my feet. took my breath away, for no clear reason. a search of my email revealed an old love letter from my husband, and for about ten seconds i felt like i was coming undone.

but then it passes, and i am ok again and grateful for most things.

july 20

my poor macbook has been broken, and since i started my new job, i have little time to klog.

but my computer has been restored to me, and it is a warm and lonely wednesday night!

alot has happened. for starters, i turned 30 and my friends had a rag tag surprise party for me in christopher columbus park with champagne and fruit salad. that day ended up being sort of bad ass. a good start to a new year, that simply HAS to be better than this last one. and so far, it is.

also, meghan got married. meg was my college roommate, and is a true character. hard to capture if you don't already know her. i was her maid of honor, and it was a wild weekend helping pull her extravagant wedding off without too many problems. old friends were in town, and i felt really happy. happy.

july 1

today is a bright friday.

i had my last day at the firm yesterday. when i got to work kerry had put sunflowers on my desk. we went out to lunch and talked about books and cases. it was a sweet end.

i have tackled a huge organizational problem today--my overflowing and disheveled closet-- so i am feeling quite accomplished. whatever else happens, at least my closet is perfect. nearly.