updates

today was my first day at my internship. I was late; I got very lost in Worcester and surrounding towns. I got  a tour of the courthouse and met all the people that make it run, and set up shop in an office with the other two interns (including Amy-Right-Way!). 

i have been cooking like crazy lately. mostly quiches. but also risottos and soups and apple crisps with roasted pecans. mmmm. has my cooking gene been reactivated? here is hoping!

also, i saw rob lowe eating a cannoli at mike's pastries today. he was just as darling as he appeared in st. elmo's fire.

been alone alot lately. VERY hard for me. but also sort of nice.

i have been ravenously reading  Unaccustomed Earth by Jhumpa Lahiri.

I can't put it down. everything she writes is lyrical and fluid. she reminds me of gabriel garcia marquez or milan kundera.... bur more modern and accessible than both. 

this book is filling these early summer days and making me quite happy.

this is the first sentence to the first short story: "After her mother's death, Ruma's father retired from the pharmaceutical company where he had worked for many decades and began traveling in Europe, a continent he'd never seen. " 

She has the gift of making a reader want to learn more, to follow her wherever the story leads. 

exactly my sentiments.

..."I am tired of being a skeptic, I'm irritated by spiritual prudence and I feel bored and parched by empirical debate. I don't want to hear it anymore. I couldn't care less about evidence and proof and assurances. I just want God. I want God inside me. I want God to play in my bloodstream the way sunlight amuses itself on water."--Elizabeth Gilbert

lesson learned:

do not enter sex shop if you do not wish to talk about your clitoris.

the fifty year old woman with an arm of tattoos hands me a small pink contraption. "You will love it," she says. this is after she directed me towards the book "A Straight Chicks guide to Girls."

It is a collapsing U-shape. and neon pink. with one end covered in rubber bristles. the box says it is discrete and petite. there is a motor somewhere, but i can't tell where. it seems unclear exactly how a person would use this toy.

She seems to sense my bafflement, and says "This part goes in your vaginal cavity. This tip rests on your clitoris. It goes a million miles a minute...you will be in ecstasy."

"oh," i say.

She starts restocking vibrators on the shelves, of all shapes and sizes and dimensions. "Alot of happy lesbians this weekend!" she laughs. "Look at our inventory. We got raped!"

I am not sure how to acknowledge this statement, but would like to recover to my earlier meek response, so i say: "You know it!"

She turns again to me, takes the toy from me and looks me in the eyes. "If you buy this, you won't regret it." The heavy-set bulldog wandering in the store with the leopard print bandana comes and rests beside her.

I tell her I am thinking about it, and retreat.

I am clearly too puritanical to be cool or collected in sex shops.

as we leave, she begins a joke to another customer: "You know the difference between a bitch and a butch?"

vacation.

my last final has been taken! we will see what all this means when the dust settles. for now, my first year of law school is finished, which is a stunning thought.

and i am going to provincetown to a bed and breakfast. i plan on drinking red wine in the jacuzzi and watching home design shows. also eating oysters and taking at least long walk alone. writing lindsey a long overdue letter. a massage, a pedicure, a facial. whatever i want!


try to relax. hard to do when you have been wound up so long! but so nice to have relaxing as an assignment.

look. everyone knows cute animals make them happy. I, for one, am not ashamed to say. go to www.cuteoverload.com. of particular note is the video of the black lab nursing a litter of abandoned kittens.

gets me every time.

new day.

time to remove the contracts flowchart from its place of prestige and power underneath my white board.

tomorrow, civil procedure will be slowly graphed like a spider web over a brand new posterboard. coffee will be consumed in excess, frantic emails sent to Professor Blum seeking enlightenment, and many, many snacks will be eaten. probably i will need to take a walk at some point, which tyler says was one of plato's learning methods: a walking school. walk and talk and learn.

goodbye material (or partial?) breach of contract , hello non-mutual collateral estoppel!

and then: who knows. Wednesday is the end of my first year of law school, which has meant many unexpected things to me. uncertain what that will feel like, but doubtful as good as i hope.

"and if indeed you would know my worth it is that i have more in my heart than upon my tongue, and more in my desire than my hand." -khahil gibran

bright spots

To begin: admittedly, today has been a pretty wretched, terrible day. almost all around.

a few bright spots though:

the old man i saw riding a bicycle and smoking a cigarette. he wore bright purple shorts. brave and reckless, a hard to resist combination.

also the weather was baffling and haunting... warm and wildly windy, like the hours after a hurricane.

talked to my best friend meghan.

the fountains by the green way have (at last) been turned on. the mist sprayed me as a i walked by.

amber gave me a cigarette, which was really awesome.

glass of red wine just now. soooo deserved.

may

i had a teacher once who told me to believe in abundance.

trying to do that.

wet rat kitten

These are pictures I found of Ophelia when she was a tiny kitten. she was mangy and soooo little. look at her next to my hand!

dreaming mid-finals.

oh man i can't wait to read a book this summer. many many books.

law school is the first time in my life i haven't had a books on the side.

some options:

re-read an old love. brother's karamazov or duncan's brother k? finish a hundred years of solitude? that new book by jhumpa lahiri that meg loves?

should i get the best short fiction of the past year. i love anthologies. full of possibilities.

or: should i go and pick the first book it seems like i will fall in love with? after finals, find a bookstore and buy first book that gets my attention.

or consult the new york times best seller list? what are other people reading, and why? oprah knows! i will check out her opinion.

maybe read a book that ties this last year together for me. Something on the supreme court, or the relevance of law in society.

suggestions welcome.